The Apper
iPhone App Reviewer

Freebies Episode III: Revenge of the Sh!t

In this article, we will look at some of the worst the App Store has to offer that I have yet to review, in terms of free Apps.

iMaze

This game is extremely choppy, laggy, and barely playable.  The game plays like Labyrinth, but with almost no animation.  Don’t waste your time downloading this game, trust me.

Score:
Download?: No

Accel Break

When I downloaded this app I was thinking, “sweet, finally a breakout game where you use the accelerometer”.  It took me an hour to turn the controls on (before it had the normal finger controls).  To my horror, the accelerometer controls don’t work at all.  It moves very slowly, then you tilt it a little more, and it flies accoss the screen.  The finger controls aren’t any good either (they’re extremely glitchy).  And the graphics aren’t anywhere near breakclassic.

Score: ♥½
Download?: No

TiltSnake

Now this game isn’t awful.  The idea is in the right place, it’s just the controls work 50% of the time (I swear it’s auto-calibrating as I play!), and the graphics (especially, the loading scren) aren’t any good.  Playing Snake could be fun with tilt controls, but just not in this version.

Score: ♥♥
Download?: No

Apache Lander

This game doesn’t have anything going for it!  Bad controls, graphics, and sound sum up this game.  Landing the airplane is almost imposible, but once you do, there isn’t any reason to load up the game ever again.

Score: ♥½
Download?: No

Jared

Why God is this on here?!?!  This is taking up valuable space on the app store.  I instantly deleted this app.  How can more people have downloaded this app than Morroco?  Why are there so many mindless people out there?  They’d have to pay me to keep this app on my iPhone (and a lot of it!).

Score: 0
Download?: Never!




There you have it, some of the worst the app store has to offer, and the worst the app store has to offer.  If I was a harsh on some of these games, offended you, and/or wasn’t tasteful, I’m extremely sorry. 

The Apper

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2 Responses to “Freebies Episode III: Revenge of the Sh!t”

  1. […] The Apper added an interesting post today on Freebies Episode III: Revenge of the Sh!tHere’s a small reading#160; They’d have to pay me to keep this app on my iPhone (and a lot of it!)… […]

  2. Hey Project-79 it’s RazorianFly here.

    Just a tip, I’ve noticed you’ve been getting ping-backs from the usual ‘spam’ sites that I am receiving over at my blog. Those being iphone.in-the-mall.com, pam-anderson-hotpics.blogspot.com and hotiphone4u.info.

    You can mark these comments as spam in your WordPress Dashboard, so they don’t show on the site by going to ‘Comments’ > ‘Akismet Spam’

    Just thought I’d let you know,

    Also, I wouldn’t mind a link-back to “RazorianFly :]’ if it’s posisble! 🙂

    Cheers,
    R-Fly


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